The Leap of Faith -

Here is an interesting topic that EVERYONE has asked us about. I really didn't want to write about this, but I have had SO many people ask me about it, and have been motivated by the story I guess that is a sign that I should share it with everyone else...

How did WS and Rebecca take the news about Zoe?

Well..... Let's start at the beginning. As you know, KC and I decided that this was something that we both felt called by God to do and we decided long before telling anyone else about it that it would be something that WE would do. The two of us. So we did. We started, we got accepted and we moved forward. Well the moment came where we had to tell our parents. I guess we didn't "have" to tell them, but if you know me at all you know that I share almost everything with my family. It has to be something VERY serious for me not to share it with them. They are the best. They are an amazing support team. They pray for you. They are a shoulder to lean on. They give advice, sometimes unsolicited, but always with the best intentions in mind. I remember telling Mama and Papa about Zoe as if it were us telling them about Olivia again. We were at their house on a Sunday afternoon. I pulled up the Lucy Lane video and showed them. My dad teared up a little bit and my mom said something along the lines of - that's truly special. I was thinking, awesome. This is going great. They are in the moment, they are totally supportive. They saw that video, they saw how many children need homes and mommy and daddy's, this is gonna be great! Ha. Not really. The emotions changed very quickly. I said, well you are going to have a grandchild like that. They both looked at me, and my dad walked towards the kitchen to finish cleaning up from lunch. While I look back and know that it was merely the shock and fact that I just blurted it out like I had just told them I was moving to Canada - it still hurt my feelings. It wasn't how I had planned. All I could think was "No. No. No. That isn't how this is supposed to play out!" They were suppose to gasp for breath, hug me and KC, start asking a million questions, call my siblings or at least encourage me to. But it didn't happen like that - and I didn't understand why.

I don't understand why my parents responded like that and still to this day can’t tell you why they didn't get as excited as KC and I were to tell them. What was wrong?

It has taken me this long to take their reactions and digest them and this is what I think happened. KC and I said, "we are gonna have another baby and she will be from Ethiopia. We are adopting!" and I think what they heard was "We have decided to take on a challenge that will be a lifelong battle from outsiders, extremely expensive and no one can talk us out of it." I get it. I do. I understand what they were thinking and probably what they heard. Zoe isn't even here and yet we are already getting some odd responses and reactions from some family, friends and others who we don't even really know - but we don't care.

Since that day, even against my sometimes smarter sisters and sister-in-law's advice, I pushed. I mean I pushed and pushed and pushed my parents. I just didn't understand what their deals were. It is a baby! It isn't like we are going to Africa to bring back a lion to sleep in the same room as Olivia. It will be a precious little bundle of joy, but with darker skin. That's all. What's the big problem with that?

I finally just asked and they explained. Both of my parents are teachers. They explained about how they have seen, first hand, how difficult it can be for children in mixed raced families. They sometimes aren't accepted by either race and are left all alone. They told me that as parents we can be there all the time during the day and protect them, but one day they have to go to school and eventually middle school - which can be the meanest. They told me that they are overly excited about the fact that we feel called by God to adopt and that he is leading us in this direction, but have we really thought this through all the way? They said that they didn't want to sway us one way or another, but that they just wanted us to think of everything before we jumped into this. We explained that we had and we understand their concerns but that we feel comfortable and confident enough in ourselves and our relationship with God to handle anything that might come our way.

KC and I just had to do it. We both felt "grown up" at that moment. We had made a decision without my parents fully embracing it at that moment and accepting it. They have since then, but at that moment it was very difficult. I have tried to explain to them how it really hurt and how we didn't understand how they couldn't just accept our decision, but if you are like me that is more difficult to explain than you think.

So we did it. We took our Leap of Faith. Was it hard? Oh yes! Were we scared? We still are. Did we wish mama and papa would have stood up and given us huge hugs and celebrated about our good news? We wish we could replay it differently all the time. But it all happened for that reason. Since then, my parents have made comments about us and our decision to adopt. They have told me how they can see how KC and I have both matured. How we have grown in our spiritual walk. How they have seen what God has in store for us and no matter what anyone said, we followed what he was calling us to do. And let me tell you people, there is nothing more difficult than doing something that your parents, at that moment, may not 100% support. God is good though. He gives us a road map to follow and allows us to make the choices as to whether we want to follow it or not. We decided to. We stood up against the ones who could have been the only ones to derail us, and we kept moving, and now they are totally on board.

So remember, it is tough. It's tough to take that leap of faith. It's tough to do what others may not at that moment agree with or understand. It's tough to go against the mold and be your own person. But IF you believe in God and know that he IS in charge, then there is nothing to fear. So maybe you do, maybe you don't have someone or something standing in your way of something that you truly feel called to do, or not to do, or maybe there is someone who you just need to tell that you are your own person - take the leap of faith. Try it. It is better on the other side, trust me.

Until later –
j.w. godwin